You Know...

How many You Knows can you come up with? I challenge you...

You Know….

1. You know you have been too sarcastic lately when you pay your husband a compliment and he asks “why are you talking to me that way?”

2. You know you have bad road rage when your kids see orange-striped cones up ahead and they say to each other from the back of the car, “Oh no, Mama’s going to get mad.” In my defense there has been a lot of construction lately and I have a knack for running into more construction when I make a turn to avoid it.

3. You know you better check who your 4 year old’s friends are when she says “that song has the S-word in it” - she may have meant “stupid” but how does she know there is such a thing as an “S-word”?

4. You know that unfortunately your children may grow up to be just like you when your 22 month old says “Scooch, child, scooch!” to his sister.

5. You know your children don’t yet understand that their little brother is not an animal that can be put up for adoption or put down if it doesn’t work out, when after marveling at his skills of remembering everyone’s name correctly, one of them says, “yeh, he’s tamed now.”

What Paris Taught Me About Myself Today

1. Apparently I complain too much because when I said "I am going to throw up" she replied "No, Mama's don't throw up they just about to throw up."

2. You know you have too many children when your 4 year old says while leafing through a book about babies, "Mama, next time you have a baby in your tummy, I want it to look like this one."

Parisism of the Week

After being told to calm down with her little brother and ignoring the warning, I pulled Paris' hands off of her brother. Forgetting herself she swatted me on the arm and then looked up at me in horror. I gasped and was about to start the lecture and hand out punishment, when Paris put her tiny hand over my mouth and said, "Don't say a word."

I've found it very interesting that Paris suddenly loves to go shopping with me. Today she asked if we could go look at all the things she might choose for her birthday, me being short on time and her birthday not being until January, I said "no, not today your birthday isn't for a long time anyway." Too which Paris said to herself under her breathe, "well, I guess I hate shopping now."

Parisism of the week

Today there was so much snow I couldn't get my vehicle up our hill to pick-up Elise. Lucky for me her school is very close. Unlucky for Paris we have to walk down a hill and through a field to get there. We were already running late and her little legs were doing their happy best to get through the high drifting snow. The inevitable happened and down she went, as her little red-cheeked face appeared out of the snow she said, "Mama, I'm tied up at the moment!"

The Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy – Episode II, Operation Mortal Wound

The Characters:
Our Heroes ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, likes to throw fits at the most inconvenient times
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of acrobatics

Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Injury Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening Injuries

Yesterday a well timed and calculated plan was put into action for Evil Mama’s undoing. Parisgirl started acting up and had escaped Evil Mama’s imprisonment on the stairwell. Refusing to return on her own recognizance, Paris threw herself backwards on the floor and suffered a mortal wound on the back of her head, falling on an antique adding machine before Evil Mama could reach her. Evil Mama turned white, rushed Parisgirl up the stairs, cleaned her wound, stopped her bleeding, and applied ice. Parisgirl lay on the couch, her part had been done, Evil Mama was duely distracted, both her hands busy with forehead caressing and ice pack holding. It was up to Jackboy to carry out the second phase of the operation. Just out of Evil Mama’s reach Jackboy perched himself atop his rocking cow (yes I do mean cow), standing up, rocking, with arms in the air, screeching with delight. What Parisgirl and Jackboy failed to account for was Evil Mama’s elastic arms, able to hold an ice pack and reach across a room at the same time. But, Evil Mama did fail to tell them that her heart has not beaten that fast twice in the stretch of 10 minutes in a long time.

But, this is not the end for our chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl is cheering Jackboy on as he has mastered a new skill of spitting out exactly half of his food while making a razzy noise at the same time.

the Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy - Episode I

written September 20, 2008

The Characters:
Our Heros ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, llikes to leave calling cards
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of toilet clogging

Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Allergen Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening allergens

Two days ago Parisgirl's plan was put in to action after the The Evil Mama "said" she did not have enough time to brush her hair and fingered through it instead. Parisgirl knew her hair was tangled and something must be done about it. On the way to bringing the other children of the realm to school Paris told Evil Mama she needed a haircut. Evil Mama let out cackle and said "You just had one!", when Parisgirl got home she knew what had to be done. She had Jackboy act hungry and tired so Evil Mama would be distracted. She very stealthily pretended to go to the bathroom, while climbing up the drawers to get on top of the counter, where she could open the top drawer with the scissors. Parisgirl cut out the tangles, put the scissors back in the drawer, climbed back down, got a hair clip out, and went to ask Evil Mama to put it in her fixed hair........Later, Evil Mama found Parisgirl's calling card, a pile of golden curls on the bathroom counter.

Today, Evil Mama walked into the bathroom in her bare feet and found the floor to be flooded. When she came to the toilet she found Parisgirl's calling card on top of the closed toiletbowl lid, a pair of very wet pink Hello Kitty socks, and an overturned plunger next to the toilet. After Evil Mama did her bidding of cleaning up the puddle of germs, the very next thing she found was a mountain of allergen filled crumbs all over the floor where Parisgirl was having a snack, as Evil Mama started cleaning that up, the last of the master plan was enacted. Jackboy took off his diaper (for the first time) and peed all over his toys, the mantle and the wood floor, then did a very proud naked victory lap. This was very close to Evil Mama's undoing, but much to Parisgirl and Jackboy's surprise, Evil Mama cleaned up again with a "ha ha ha ha."

But, this is not the end for our germ and chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl has retreated to her basement playroom while Jackboy does some much needed reconnaissance in Evil Mama's arms, while sleeping and drinking a bottle. Tune in next time for more Misadventures of The Parisgirl and Jackboy!