1. Apparently I complain too much because when I said "I am going to throw up" she replied "No, Mama's don't throw up they just about to throw up."
2. You know you have too many children when your 4 year old says while leafing through a book about babies, "Mama, next time you have a baby in your tummy, I want it to look like this one."
Showing posts with label children humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Parisism of the Week
After being told to calm down with her little brother and ignoring the warning, I pulled Paris' hands off of her brother. Forgetting herself she swatted me on the arm and then looked up at me in horror. I gasped and was about to start the lecture and hand out punishment, when Paris put her tiny hand over my mouth and said, "Don't say a word."
I've found it very interesting that Paris suddenly loves to go shopping with me. Today she asked if we could go look at all the things she might choose for her birthday, me being short on time and her birthday not being until January, I said "no, not today your birthday isn't for a long time anyway." Too which Paris said to herself under her breathe, "well, I guess I hate shopping now."
I've found it very interesting that Paris suddenly loves to go shopping with me. Today she asked if we could go look at all the things she might choose for her birthday, me being short on time and her birthday not being until January, I said "no, not today your birthday isn't for a long time anyway." Too which Paris said to herself under her breathe, "well, I guess I hate shopping now."
Monday, March 9, 2009
All the things I needed to learn for life I learned from my kids....
1. If it looks like poop on the floor it probobly is
2. If you can't see it or hear it but you know it is there, you should find out about it
(this is how #1 happens)
3. All animal analogies can be turned on you, such as...Monkey see, monkey do, When pigs fly (have you ever seen an 18 month old throw chunks of ham?)
4. All baby analogies are not to be believed - have you ever tried taking candy away from a baby?
5. In addition to what goes up must come down, what goes in must come out
6. Sticks and stones may break your bones and so will I if your words hurt my kid
7. Dirt do hurt if it gets in your eye or you track it in on your mother's clean floor
8. Close only counts in horse shoes - this one is true, much to my children's dismay and mine, it does not count in potty training and I have yet to find anything else in their world that it does
9. If you don't want something repeated and traced back to you as the source - don't say it - like s@#% when you're driving and someone pulls out in front of you
10. Don't ask a question that you may not want the answer to (most kids think being fat is a good thing)
2. If you can't see it or hear it but you know it is there, you should find out about it
(this is how #1 happens)
3. All animal analogies can be turned on you, such as...Monkey see, monkey do, When pigs fly (have you ever seen an 18 month old throw chunks of ham?)
4. All baby analogies are not to be believed - have you ever tried taking candy away from a baby?
5. In addition to what goes up must come down, what goes in must come out
6. Sticks and stones may break your bones and so will I if your words hurt my kid
7. Dirt do hurt if it gets in your eye or you track it in on your mother's clean floor
8. Close only counts in horse shoes - this one is true, much to my children's dismay and mine, it does not count in potty training and I have yet to find anything else in their world that it does
9. If you don't want something repeated and traced back to you as the source - don't say it - like s@#% when you're driving and someone pulls out in front of you
10. Don't ask a question that you may not want the answer to (most kids think being fat is a good thing)
Friday, December 5, 2008
Parisism of the week
Today there was so much snow I couldn't get my vehicle up our hill to pick-up Elise. Lucky for me her school is very close. Unlucky for Paris we have to walk down a hill and through a field to get there. We were already running late and her little legs were doing their happy best to get through the high drifting snow. The inevitable happened and down she went, as her little red-cheeked face appeared out of the snow she said, "Mama, I'm tied up at the moment!"
Monday, December 1, 2008
The Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy – Episode II, Operation Mortal Wound
The Characters:
Our Heroes ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, likes to throw fits at the most inconvenient times
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of acrobatics
Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Injury Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening Injuries
Yesterday a well timed and calculated plan was put into action for Evil Mama’s undoing. Parisgirl started acting up and had escaped Evil Mama’s imprisonment on the stairwell. Refusing to return on her own recognizance, Paris threw herself backwards on the floor and suffered a mortal wound on the back of her head, falling on an antique adding machine before Evil Mama could reach her. Evil Mama turned white, rushed Parisgirl up the stairs, cleaned her wound, stopped her bleeding, and applied ice. Parisgirl lay on the couch, her part had been done, Evil Mama was duely distracted, both her hands busy with forehead caressing and ice pack holding. It was up to Jackboy to carry out the second phase of the operation. Just out of Evil Mama’s reach Jackboy perched himself atop his rocking cow (yes I do mean cow), standing up, rocking, with arms in the air, screeching with delight. What Parisgirl and Jackboy failed to account for was Evil Mama’s elastic arms, able to hold an ice pack and reach across a room at the same time. But, Evil Mama did fail to tell them that her heart has not beaten that fast twice in the stretch of 10 minutes in a long time.
But, this is not the end for our chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl is cheering Jackboy on as he has mastered a new skill of spitting out exactly half of his food while making a razzy noise at the same time.
Our Heroes ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, likes to throw fits at the most inconvenient times
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of acrobatics
Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Injury Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening Injuries
Yesterday a well timed and calculated plan was put into action for Evil Mama’s undoing. Parisgirl started acting up and had escaped Evil Mama’s imprisonment on the stairwell. Refusing to return on her own recognizance, Paris threw herself backwards on the floor and suffered a mortal wound on the back of her head, falling on an antique adding machine before Evil Mama could reach her. Evil Mama turned white, rushed Parisgirl up the stairs, cleaned her wound, stopped her bleeding, and applied ice. Parisgirl lay on the couch, her part had been done, Evil Mama was duely distracted, both her hands busy with forehead caressing and ice pack holding. It was up to Jackboy to carry out the second phase of the operation. Just out of Evil Mama’s reach Jackboy perched himself atop his rocking cow (yes I do mean cow), standing up, rocking, with arms in the air, screeching with delight. What Parisgirl and Jackboy failed to account for was Evil Mama’s elastic arms, able to hold an ice pack and reach across a room at the same time. But, Evil Mama did fail to tell them that her heart has not beaten that fast twice in the stretch of 10 minutes in a long time.
But, this is not the end for our chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl is cheering Jackboy on as he has mastered a new skill of spitting out exactly half of his food while making a razzy noise at the same time.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
the Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy - Episode I
written September 20, 2008
The Characters:
Our Heros ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, llikes to leave calling cards
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of toilet clogging
Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Allergen Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening allergens
Two days ago Parisgirl's plan was put in to action after the The Evil Mama "said" she did not have enough time to brush her hair and fingered through it instead. Parisgirl knew her hair was tangled and something must be done about it. On the way to bringing the other children of the realm to school Paris told Evil Mama she needed a haircut. Evil Mama let out cackle and said "You just had one!", when Parisgirl got home she knew what had to be done. She had Jackboy act hungry and tired so Evil Mama would be distracted. She very stealthily pretended to go to the bathroom, while climbing up the drawers to get on top of the counter, where she could open the top drawer with the scissors. Parisgirl cut out the tangles, put the scissors back in the drawer, climbed back down, got a hair clip out, and went to ask Evil Mama to put it in her fixed hair........Later, Evil Mama found Parisgirl's calling card, a pile of golden curls on the bathroom counter.
Today, Evil Mama walked into the bathroom in her bare feet and found the floor to be flooded. When she came to the toilet she found Parisgirl's calling card on top of the closed toiletbowl lid, a pair of very wet pink Hello Kitty socks, and an overturned plunger next to the toilet. After Evil Mama did her bidding of cleaning up the puddle of germs, the very next thing she found was a mountain of allergen filled crumbs all over the floor where Parisgirl was having a snack, as Evil Mama started cleaning that up, the last of the master plan was enacted. Jackboy took off his diaper (for the first time) and peed all over his toys, the mantle and the wood floor, then did a very proud naked victory lap. This was very close to Evil Mama's undoing, but much to Parisgirl and Jackboy's surprise, Evil Mama cleaned up again with a "ha ha ha ha."
But, this is not the end for our germ and chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl has retreated to her basement playroom while Jackboy does some much needed reconnaissance in Evil Mama's arms, while sleeping and drinking a bottle. Tune in next time for more Misadventures of The Parisgirl and Jackboy!
The Characters:
Our Heros ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, llikes to leave calling cards
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of toilet clogging
Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Allergen Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening allergens
Two days ago Parisgirl's plan was put in to action after the The Evil Mama "said" she did not have enough time to brush her hair and fingered through it instead. Parisgirl knew her hair was tangled and something must be done about it. On the way to bringing the other children of the realm to school Paris told Evil Mama she needed a haircut. Evil Mama let out cackle and said "You just had one!", when Parisgirl got home she knew what had to be done. She had Jackboy act hungry and tired so Evil Mama would be distracted. She very stealthily pretended to go to the bathroom, while climbing up the drawers to get on top of the counter, where she could open the top drawer with the scissors. Parisgirl cut out the tangles, put the scissors back in the drawer, climbed back down, got a hair clip out, and went to ask Evil Mama to put it in her fixed hair........Later, Evil Mama found Parisgirl's calling card, a pile of golden curls on the bathroom counter.
Today, Evil Mama walked into the bathroom in her bare feet and found the floor to be flooded. When she came to the toilet she found Parisgirl's calling card on top of the closed toiletbowl lid, a pair of very wet pink Hello Kitty socks, and an overturned plunger next to the toilet. After Evil Mama did her bidding of cleaning up the puddle of germs, the very next thing she found was a mountain of allergen filled crumbs all over the floor where Parisgirl was having a snack, as Evil Mama started cleaning that up, the last of the master plan was enacted. Jackboy took off his diaper (for the first time) and peed all over his toys, the mantle and the wood floor, then did a very proud naked victory lap. This was very close to Evil Mama's undoing, but much to Parisgirl and Jackboy's surprise, Evil Mama cleaned up again with a "ha ha ha ha."
But, this is not the end for our germ and chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl has retreated to her basement playroom while Jackboy does some much needed reconnaissance in Evil Mama's arms, while sleeping and drinking a bottle. Tune in next time for more Misadventures of The Parisgirl and Jackboy!
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