You know you need to clean your car when...

I have always lived by my early observation that people usually are a "Clean Car/Messy Home" people or "Messy Car/Clean Home" people. If you are "Clean Car/Clean Home" person you are anal and I don't want to know you because you will make me feel inferior and if you are a "Messy Car/Messy Home" person you are a slob. That of course was before I became the mom of 5 small children, because let's face it the house isn't always clean. But I have always felt in my head that I was a "Messy Car/Clean Home" person - the best place to be.

So yesterday while knowing that my house was a wreck back at home, hearing my daughter's perspective on it made me think "I better clean the car!"

Paris - (after having borrowed my father's car while my van was in the shop)
"We're in our car now right? Cause this car is filthy and OUR car is filthy!"

By the way if you have a clean car and a clean home, I still hate you - but I'm willing to consider you might be a nice person.

Parisisms of the Day!

By 10 am this morning my little 4 year old Paris-girl had me laughing since she got out of bed.

While I was putting 16 month old Jack's slippers on:
Paris - Jack you're going to be cozy in no time!

While we were chillin' watching Noggin. Dora came on:
Paris - Mama, quick move take Jack's bottle out of his mouth, Dora's on, he has to say "Dora!"
Jack - "Dora!"

While making a book about God in which "Mary was giving God her ear-rings":
Paris decided God would play ball in her book after I noticed she had spelled the word "at" amongst her letters.
Paris - Mama how do you spell ball?
Me - b-a-l-l
Paris - write it for me! (I did)
Paris - it says at the ball.....game!
Paris - how do you spell game?
Me - g-a-m-e (I wrote it)
Paris - Cracker Jack!.........Mama how do spell Cracker Jack?

Parisism of the week

Today there was so much snow I couldn't get my vehicle up our hill to pick-up Elise. Lucky for me her school is very close. Unlucky for Paris we have to walk down a hill and through a field to get there. We were already running late and her little legs were doing their happy best to get through the high drifting snow. The inevitable happened and down she went, as her little red-cheeked face appeared out of the snow she said, "Mama, I'm tied up at the moment!"

The Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy – Episode II, Operation Mortal Wound

The Characters:
Our Heroes ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, likes to throw fits at the most inconvenient times
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of acrobatics

Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Injury Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening Injuries

Yesterday a well timed and calculated plan was put into action for Evil Mama’s undoing. Parisgirl started acting up and had escaped Evil Mama’s imprisonment on the stairwell. Refusing to return on her own recognizance, Paris threw herself backwards on the floor and suffered a mortal wound on the back of her head, falling on an antique adding machine before Evil Mama could reach her. Evil Mama turned white, rushed Parisgirl up the stairs, cleaned her wound, stopped her bleeding, and applied ice. Parisgirl lay on the couch, her part had been done, Evil Mama was duely distracted, both her hands busy with forehead caressing and ice pack holding. It was up to Jackboy to carry out the second phase of the operation. Just out of Evil Mama’s reach Jackboy perched himself atop his rocking cow (yes I do mean cow), standing up, rocking, with arms in the air, screeching with delight. What Parisgirl and Jackboy failed to account for was Evil Mama’s elastic arms, able to hold an ice pack and reach across a room at the same time. But, Evil Mama did fail to tell them that her heart has not beaten that fast twice in the stretch of 10 minutes in a long time.

But, this is not the end for our chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl is cheering Jackboy on as he has mastered a new skill of spitting out exactly half of his food while making a razzy noise at the same time.

the Misadventures of Parisgirl and Jackboy - Episode I

written September 20, 2008

The Characters:
Our Heros ~
-Parisgirl - superhuman 3 year old able to climb on top of counters in a single bound, master strategist for The Evil Mama's demise, llikes to leave calling cards
-Jackboy - superhero in training, has mastered level one of toilet clogging

Our Villain ~
-The Evil Germ/Allergen Hating Mama - does not let the poor children in her realm waddle in germs and life-threatening allergens

Two days ago Parisgirl's plan was put in to action after the The Evil Mama "said" she did not have enough time to brush her hair and fingered through it instead. Parisgirl knew her hair was tangled and something must be done about it. On the way to bringing the other children of the realm to school Paris told Evil Mama she needed a haircut. Evil Mama let out cackle and said "You just had one!", when Parisgirl got home she knew what had to be done. She had Jackboy act hungry and tired so Evil Mama would be distracted. She very stealthily pretended to go to the bathroom, while climbing up the drawers to get on top of the counter, where she could open the top drawer with the scissors. Parisgirl cut out the tangles, put the scissors back in the drawer, climbed back down, got a hair clip out, and went to ask Evil Mama to put it in her fixed hair........Later, Evil Mama found Parisgirl's calling card, a pile of golden curls on the bathroom counter.

Today, Evil Mama walked into the bathroom in her bare feet and found the floor to be flooded. When she came to the toilet she found Parisgirl's calling card on top of the closed toiletbowl lid, a pair of very wet pink Hello Kitty socks, and an overturned plunger next to the toilet. After Evil Mama did her bidding of cleaning up the puddle of germs, the very next thing she found was a mountain of allergen filled crumbs all over the floor where Parisgirl was having a snack, as Evil Mama started cleaning that up, the last of the master plan was enacted. Jackboy took off his diaper (for the first time) and peed all over his toys, the mantle and the wood floor, then did a very proud naked victory lap. This was very close to Evil Mama's undoing, but much to Parisgirl and Jackboy's surprise, Evil Mama cleaned up again with a "ha ha ha ha."

But, this is not the end for our germ and chaos-making friends, right now Parisgirl has retreated to her basement playroom while Jackboy does some much needed reconnaissance in Evil Mama's arms, while sleeping and drinking a bottle. Tune in next time for more Misadventures of The Parisgirl and Jackboy!